The Man's Message
Established 2003 | "Tetritus fortis sine gym"
Friday, September 06, 2024
crew of the weeks
This issue's CotW were positively in the zone, navigating through the dreaded "Docklands loading dock" in style and leaving their customer positively blown away by their artistry.
"Maciej and Ben were SOOOOO in the moving zone in fact I thought they took less time than I was expecting and I have moved many times into these difficult Docklands apartment buildings with terrible access. Not only were the gents spectacularly in sync, they never broke a sweat, were so kind and polite and supportive (moving is traumatic) and they were deeply philosophical in their conversation but that's because I think Man with a Van has a secret pre-requisite that their employees are artists, musicians, film-makers and writers....So happy!"
Nice one team, come catch Jack Tandy around the depot to collect your reward.
strap in
Victoria Police are coming for you. Seatbelts must be worn "correctly" at all times while traveling. This includes the top belt being over your shoulder instead of under as pictured. Not only is the passenger liable to pay an exorbitant fine, the driver will also cop 3 demerit points and a fine for not ensuring their passenger was doing the right thing.
Top tipsters
The AFL footy tipping has concluded for season 2024. The original Man With A Van, Tim "Nugget" Bishop, has come out on top, followed in second by late season bolter, Henry "The Dons will come good" Osborne, and Jack Tandy rounding out the top three.
In a show of agrarian respect, Tim decided to donate his first prize meat tray to Henry and Jack donated his third prize cruisers to fourth place Jake "Jake Joyce" Joyce (not pictured).
Privacy Move Policy and Quiz
The Privacy Move Policy is and ready to go.
Read >>this policy<< then complete >>this quiz<< right now.
Disbanded
"As I'm sure some of you are already aware, the VIC/TAS branch of the TWU has been disbanded and is now being managed by the National branch.
Paul and I have spoken with Alan McGill at the TWU and he's assured us that nothing will change for us at Man With A Van.
Details are very scarce at the moment, but for now my understanding is this is an internal problem and has nothing to do with the current troubles at the CFMEU or any criminal behaviour.
I will update you all as I learn more and if anything changes for us. Please read the full statement from the TWU below and message me if you've got any questions or info." - Alex "TWU Delegate" Morris
Talk About It
Stone table? TV not in its original box? IKEA wardrobe not dismantled? You need to tell the customer it is not covered by our damage guarantee before we move it.
Telling the customer it isn't covered after we've broken it, leaves a sour taste in the customers mouth and 1 star reviews.
the damage
Damage reports submitted - 20 😓
Claims without damage reports - 1
With the wild Melbourne weather in full swing, there's been quite a few spicy damage reports coming through this fortnight. Remember to take extra care when it's windy and try to avoid balancing or leaning items - especially fragile ones - outdoors where they may get caught up in a gust and knocked over.
the vibe
The vibe is back on track as we laugh in the face of last issues numbers, sitting pretty at a rock solid 4.84 average. With only a single overall negative review in sight, it's a great result any way you spin it, nice work everyone!
Look up!
There's been a recent spate of broken light-fittings, ceiling scrapes and general damage above head height. As a general rule, if you need to carry something above your head, take a look around the ceiling for any potential breakables before lifting.
gig guide
"Hi Jack (I mean anonymous scribe), I have a gig to plug. The post-rock/slowcore/drone/noise band that I play guitar and cello in is playing a gig next Sunday (the 15th) at Mamma Chen's in Footscray. It's our first Melbourne gig since last year and free entry. We get a cut of the bar takings so I need to encourage as many of my fellow staff members as possible to attend and drink lots of beers (responsibly)."
Head on down to Mama Chen (42A Albert St, Footscray) to show your support and enjoy a night of hight vibes and fresh tunes.