The Man's Message
Established 2003 | "Tetritus fortis sine gym"
Friday, April 17, 2026
Crew Of The Weeks
It was a tough crew to pick for this edition due to the amount of downright excellent survey feedback from our thrilled customers but this ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review stood tallest.
Well done to Dylan Lucchesi and Kieran Ryan who came out on top with this visceral positive feedback.
"Both men were wonderful. They had clear communication between us and each-other. The taller guy (Dylan) followed through with comms from end to end and called me when they had to. The other guy (Kieran) was a bloody excellent driver. He drove that truck with precision, carefully and skilfully. Both guys burned their calories and strengthened their quads thanks to the flights of stairs. Amazing job, have used you guys before and would again in flash. Thank you so much."
Jack Tandy is on the lookout to reward you with a shake of the manager's hand and a voucher... but the handshake obviously means the most, right?
That's A Big Phone Bill
People of Man With A Van, I come to you chastened, punished, and ashamed. My name is Alex (No Drive) Morris, and I lost my licence for three months. Heed my warning and refresh yourself on the rules about using your phone while driving in Victoria.
It is against the law to use a phone while driving. This includes:
- Holding your phone in your hand, even if the phone is turned off
- Resting a phone on any part of your body, away in your pocket is ok.
- Plugging anything into a phone, including a charger. Make your offsider do this every time the truck phone is at 20% by 7:32am.
- Looking at a phone screen that’s not in a holder, even if your offsider has an extremely crazy reel to show you.
- Entering any information into a phone, even if it’s in a holder. Make your offsider update the address and check the new job Sasha has just put in your day.
The fine for using your phone while driving - which includes any of the above and is enforced by a wicked web of cameras all over Melbourne - is $611 & 4 demerit points.
Stay safe out there.
Golf Day
MWAV's next golf day is locked in.
Sunday, 3 May @ Ringwood Golf
The Long Drives will tee off again in two weeks and they would love for you to join in on the fun.
Please speak with Matt Windsor or Stu Daulman if you’d like to know more or you can just...
Join The Long Drives on WhatsApp™
Click >>here<< or scan the QR Code to join the WhatsApp chat and have a fun time.
Dunk Report
In case you've been too busy watching the war in the Middle East, you may have missed the war on Court 4 on Wednesday night.
With the upstart Shifters crowing to the league, Aodh McHugh, drove to the basket and put the lone 18 yr old novice defender of Warriors Orange on a poster by unceremoniously dunking on him and sending him to the floor. Cue fatherly outrage.
The very next play, Aodh tried the same thing but the defender's father (and teammate) wrapped Aodh up in a bear hug and threw him into the wall. Pops was ejected from the game, Aodh shot two free throws and Shifters walked away with their sixth win on the trot.
Shifters have now won 9 of their last 10 games making them the form team of the league.
It's a tight tussle for the top of the ladder so become a Shift-head™ & cheer them on from the sidelines at their final three games of the season:
22nd April, 7:45pm vs Rebound Guys (13th)
29th April, 7:45pm vs King Cobras (3rd)
6th May, 6:15pm vs Swishful Thinking (7th)
Latch it up
Close those safety latches on the back of the trucks -even when you park in the depot. They stop the levers from falling out and the back doors opening mid-drive. If you will forget to close the latch in the depot, you will forget to close them out on the road too. Be safe.
Smash & Grab
MWAV's beloved weekend manager, Dylan Martens, had their car brazenly broken into in broad daylight last Sunday @12:40pm. Luckily, nothing of irreplaceable value was taken but it is a timely reminder to all car users to keep valuables either on your person or out of sight of shifty passers-by.
Hopefully, Victoria Police will pop round to have a chat with this avid cyclist shortly once they have been identified.
Flu Vax
Ah-Choo! With the season of sniffles edging closer and closer as each passes, it's high time you consider if getting vaccinated against the flu is right for you. Book your vaccination and The Man will reimburse you up to $20.99 to get your flu vaccination. Just email your receipt through to managers@mwav.org or hand deliver it to the office for processing.
You can book your shot at Chemist Warehouse right here! https://rsvp.chemistwarehouse.com.au/vaccination-event-details?eventId=186
Box Hill Beware
The south easterly city councils of Whitehorse and Whittlesea are currently dishing out some positively ruthless parking fines. From copping a fine 5 minutes after parking to exceeding a 2P zone by 5 minutes, these parking inspectors are out for blood.
Be extra vigilant out in these areas and be sure to follow any signage to the letter.
Tommy's Tales
A classic case of the cracked cabinet door this issue though this time with a surprise twist!
Initially accepting an on-the-spot discount for the damage, this customer later had a read through MWAV's patented damage guarantee™ before ultimately deciding they would prefer a repair. An unusual case to be sure though with the discounted amount now repaid, this item is off to the glazier to restore it to it's previously "not busted" glory.
The Vibe
Good vibes only this fortnight with a single 3-star review brining down an otherwise near-perfect score. Keep up the great work folks, Melbourne is very much picking up what you're putting down!
Suggestion Box
Suggestion: "Can we split the cheese ration? I get that people like the melty orange stuff but it tastes like garbage. I just want cheese that tastes like real cheese. Bring back the cheddar. And while we’re at it, Dilmah Extra Strength and Earl Grey are superior to any of the Twinings offerings."
Response: Noted. There will be cheese choices moving forward.
---
Suggestion: Can we please get some honey and tomatoes?
Response: Yes to the honey-bunny, but deadly nightshades in the fridge?! Not on your life.
---
To submit your own suggestion with complete anonymity - click right here
Please note: Pointed personalised attacks are harmful and must not be submitted. Keep your suggestions respectful and solution focussed.