The Man's Message
Established 2003 | "Tetritus fortis sine gym"
Friday, June 26, 2026
Crew Of The Weeks
A truly legendary team of movers take home COTW this issue with a short but sweet review. With almost 4.5k moves between them and multiple 5 star surveys this fortnight, it's tough to find a more standout team than Brando To'omata and Raf "Fletcha" Okada.
"Brando is SO friendly. The team was calm, polite, organised. And excellent communication all the way through the process. They moved at a good pace, this reassured me that my items were in good hands.”
Stellar effort team, come catch Jack Tandy around the depot to collect your reward.
Testing Testing 1, 2, 3
Mark "IT Guru" Putter will be around the depot in some mornings to nominate select groups to test the new system alongside the current mobile web. It's a great chance to influence how things work in the app before it is rolled out.
Also...
The app is now on the van phones so no download is required on your own device until launch time.
Packing News
Last Friday, Jack "Copperhead" Tandy and Eliot "Gold Liftie 2023" Mireylees cut the tape on MWAV's first box packing job. Sure, it was a trial job packing Jack's sister's stuff as training but it was an unadulterated success.
More jobs are ready to go next week and hopefully real jobs from paying customers will follow immediately after.
More jobs = more shifts = more dollars for everyone.
The Vibe
A solid effort on the vibe front with only a handful of negative reviews bringing down the average. Key feedback involves damage and reporting it, remember to always fill out a damage report when damage occurs on the job.
Suggestion Box
Suggestion: "Has anyone else noticed that the company has been in a bit of a decline since we moved over to the Isuzus over the Fusos? Bit in that I think."
Response: You have highlighted this issue with deft insight. DOn't listen to the suits from the big end of town blaming the economy or shifts in the market. This scribe has uncovered the truth about what actually happened when The Man swapped brands: It is "The 4 Curses of the Samurai Truck". 1. We Offended the Shogun. Mitsubishi translates to “Three Diamonds”, a symbol rooted in the samurai crest of the Iwasaki family.
- Our fleet used to be protected by ancient, corporate warrior spirits.
- By selling them, we committed corporate seppuku (ritual apology).
- The Mitsubishi spirits took our profit margins with them as punishment.
2. The Secret Meaning of “Isuzu”. In Japanese, Isuzu means “Fifty Bells”, named after a holy river.
- Fifty bells are incredibly loud and distracting.
- Our drivers are no longer moving cargo; we are subconsciously ringing bells.
- Customers can hear our logistics failures coming from miles away.
3. Aerodynamic Subversion. Mitsubishi trucks are built with sharp, aggressive angles designed to slice through wind and conquer obstacles.
- Isuzu vehicles are famously round, friendly, and shaped like a gentle teardrop.
- The Man has literally lost its edge.
- The trucks are so polite that they are actively yielding to our many competitors in traffic, causing delays.
4. The “Elf” Sabotage. Isuzu’s most famous commercial truck line internationally is the Isuzu Elf.
- The Man didn't just buy trucks; he invited mischievous mythological creatures to run riot in our balance sheet.
- These “Elves” are hiding our invoices, drinking the depot Moccona™, and altering the GPS coordinates to lead drivers to dead ends.
To reverse this curse, Richie must immediately tape three diamond-shaped sticky notes to the dashboard of every new truck to trick the spirits.
-----
Make a completely anonymous suggestion at tny.mwav.org/report